I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
