Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
