please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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