We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize