Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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