I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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