my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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