You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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