You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
