I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
