i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
