dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
