i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
