were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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