You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
