My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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