The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
this boner is exhausting
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
