Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
