i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
