I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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