I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Help. Why am I so naked?
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