Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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