Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
