You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
