med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
