So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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