we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
