You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
