New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
