It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize