i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
