Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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