I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
