DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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