dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
