Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
