I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
