brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
