Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
