HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize