you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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