I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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