Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize