dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
