There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
