you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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