The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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