Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
