Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
