1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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