I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My penis needs a shock collar
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
