we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
