turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
