I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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