this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
