Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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