The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
