she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The uberlube is also flammable
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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