Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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