Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
