just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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