I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
