I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
