i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
