Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I love you. Go after that dick
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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