He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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