Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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