so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
