Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
