Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
