I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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