I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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